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Sunday, July 12th, 2009
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10:00 pm - Imaginary play
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Tovar: "Its a flying truck, that delivers yogurt drinks!"
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
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10:40 am - Tovar Wishes Mama and Dada Happy 4th Anniversary
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| Wednesday, June 17th, 2009
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3:03 pm - bonding over the years [mom]
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When going through the phase of bonding to one individual (who is usually mom), Tovar bonded to his dad. He'd throw fits and run away from me to the door every time Patri walked into and out of the room, which would happen fairly frequently throughout the day.
Especially since I was the primary care giver, I had a really hard time with this. And even after this phase was over, Tovar and I weren't very close for a long time. It dawned on me recently that this has changed. Tovar has reached a point where he adores his mommy, which makes parenting much more rewarding.
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, May 30th, 2009
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10:58 am - TV
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Well, after 3.5 years, we have given in and Tovar is starting to watch some movies. He watched Sleeping Beauty last week, and this morning he is watching Cars (which he has wanted to see ever since getting Lightning McQueen shoes awhile back).
The research shows that TV is bad for kids, but a) I believe the worst effects are at < 2 years of age, b) It's dose-dependent, and it's not like we are letting him watch an hour a day or anything like that.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, May 18th, 2009
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6:42 pm - Genre-munging
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| Monday, May 11th, 2009
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10:37 pm - Yelling random things
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Tovar has started yelling random phrases he hears places. He started talking about a "Nasty old lady" after his bath, and I thought he was insulting his mother, but it turned out he was talking about the lady who swallowed a fly.
While eating dinner, he yelled: "Can't go UNDER! Have to go OVER!". Google tells me this is a standard kids storytime/song/activity thing.
Then there was something about a bear, and are you afraid?
Anyway, it is all very entertaining.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, April 13th, 2009
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7:31 pm - Notes from school today
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Tovar was very happy Daddy was back. He told everyone My Daddy is back. I missed him. He had fun today. We read lots of books. Tovar made a train with a large washing machine and a dryer and a big Television. Wow I want to be on that Train I said!!! At Circle time we talked about respecting our books and not ripping the pages. We the talked about going to the library and who has a card to check out books. April showed them I had one and everyone got a chance to hold it. We will make our own this afternoon
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, April 10th, 2009
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5:58 pm - cute misnomers
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Tovar: There's a Shoe Fly in the house!
Tovar apparently does not know that flies exist without shoes. He also thinks that Root Beer is pronounced "Root Beard," And that his Lexis toy car is A-Lexis: "Where's my A Lexis?"
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, April 5th, 2009
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1:00 pm - doctor update [mom]
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Tovar his healthy :) He's in the 25th percentile for weight, and the 3rd percentile for height. Not surprising for height, but he's still beating out Dada thus far: Patri was only in the 1st percentile through childhood.
I've been really worried about how Tovar sits, its on his knees with his feet bent out. So it was a relief to hear the doctor say that we don't need to worry about it. We should have him sit normally in a chair, but otherwise its fine.
Something I've been enjoying recently about Tovar is how he's learning more about the future. I can say "I'll give that to you tomorrow," and he's okay with delaying gratification.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, March 13th, 2009
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9:27 pm - visit to grandparents going well! [mom]
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While Patri and I are in Panama preparing to have a surrogate carry our next child, Tovar is staying with his grandparents in Palm Springs. Tovar had only been to their place a couple of times, very briefly, prior to this, so I was nervous about this extended stay.
As it turns out, things are going great! Tovar apparently talks about Mama and Dada a lot, but he's totally fine with being apart from us, and he's having a great time with Grandma and Grandpa. My mom loves kids, and they've been playing play doh, cutting with toy scissors, taking rides on Grandpa's golf cart, and in general having a blast :)
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, February 25th, 2009
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9:13 pm - favorite ritual
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My favorite ritual with Tovar is "Good Morning".
Every morning when I am the first one up with him, when I first see him, no matter how tired or cranky I am, I say "Good Morning!" in a super happy, excited tone of voice, and he responds in kind. It's always a good start to the day. It took some time for him to get it as an ingrained habit with positive associations, but now it works wonderfully.
And it works on both of us - if I'm cranky, it helps me get into a better mood, and if he's cranky, it helps him get into a better mood.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, February 9th, 2009
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8:24 pm - The family narcissism
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Tovar is into being big lately. We were driving, and I pointed out the moon, which was low in the sky.
Dad: Look at the moon, Tovar, it's really big.
Tovar: Yeah, like me!
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, January 25th, 2009
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9:59 am - Office speak
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Tovar: Daaaad! Come change my diaper!
Dad: I'll be there soon.
Tovar: Come on! I need my diaper changed!
(Dad walks into Tovar's room, to see him lying down and ready, having taken off his pajamas)
Dad: Wow, good managing from below!
current music: Chill House Mix 1 - Summer 2002 - DJ River
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, January 13th, 2009
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5:18 pm - clever boy [mom]
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Tovar: More water please!
Mama: No water, you spilled it when playing with it and don't get any more.
Mama: (a minute later) Tovar, where did you get that water from?
Dada: I gave him some water when he asked me for some.
Yes, he has officially learned the pit one parent against the other strategy. And he's smart enough to catch us when first parent is not listening to second parent. I'm very proud of him ;)
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, December 26th, 2008
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5:54 pm - The First Rule of Parenting
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Most of the things we do right flow from one single principle: Treat Tovar like a real person, with real likes and dislikes and the real ability to understand and learn and make good decisions.
Two examples:
1) Tovar likes dropping dishes in the sink. This is OK for some dishes, but not for others, which might break. One option might be to just tell him it isn't ok, or to have him ask us on a dish-by-dish basis. Instead, I used it as an opportunity to teach Tovar about materials. I explained that plastic & metal can be dropped, glass cannot, and taught him to distinguish. A useful skill.
2) We warn Tovar against knives, of course, as they are dangerous. However, the most common type of knife he encounters is the butter knife or dinner knife, which are hardly sharper than a spoon. To keep them away from him would mean lots of pointless stress. To not do so would be to risk him thinking that all knives are harmless. So we taught him that some knives are sharp and dangerous, and others are not. On the rare occasions when he is at the table near a sharp knife, we call it to his attention and warn him that this knife is sharp. Sometimes he asks about knives, whether they are sharp.
These things are important, because there seems to be an innate parental tendency to nag, worry, and direct one's children. I find myself fighting it all the time. Yet this is, in the long-term, harmful to kids. It teaches them that the world is a scary and dangerous place and doesn't let them relax and play. This has bad effects on the developing brain, yet (sadly) it is my instinct. Anything we can do to reduce nagging and worrying is a good thing.
This is also a downside to vacation - Tovar loves new places, but when they aren't childproofed, we end up watching and worrying a lot.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Saturday, December 20th, 2008
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2:00 pm - ice for hurt feelings [mom]
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Tovar: (comes out of his room 10 minutes after he was put down for his nap, which has been a pattern recently)
Mom: Go to bed, now.
Tovar: *prolonged crying*
Mom: (comes back) Why are you still crying?
Tovar: I have an owie, I need ice!
Eventually I buckled and just gave him an ice pack, which settled the dispute, even though the wound was entirely emotionally based.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Friday, December 19th, 2008
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4:25 pm - memory [mom]
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I'm really impressed with Tovar's memory for people. As one recent example, there is a little girl down the street who we visited a couple of times several months ago. Yesterday we were out visiting neighbors and he told me that he wanted to go visit her. I guess that might be normal for a three year old, I just haven't updated my model of him to think that he can remember so well!
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, December 7th, 2008
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2:09 pm - A great stage [mom]
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I'm loving this stage in Tovar's development. He's gotten to a point where I can reason with him! He's also been fabulous lately about listening and responding conscientiously.
As an example, I was tired this morning, and told him that I was very tired and asked for him to let me rest, and he said "okay" and went and played in his room.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, November 25th, 2008
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4:59 pm - Literal
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Tovar: Don't Laugh, Dada!
Dad: But I was laughing at-slash-with Mama!
Tovar: Don't laugh at-slash-with Mama!
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, November 24th, 2008
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10:09 pm - Our little transhumanist
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Dad: And we take your arm out of your shirt...and your second arm out of your shirt...and your third arm out of your shirt (taking out Tovar's head).
Tovar: No! I only...I have...I have two hands!
Dad: But if you did have more hands, that would be cool, right?
Tovar: Huh?
Dad: Well, then you could hold more balloons at the same time!
Tovar: Yeah! (Kicking his arms, waving his legs, and yelling) Yeah, yeah, yeah!
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(comment on this)
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