Thursday, November 5th, 2009
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8:51 pm - Invoking the power of MAMA
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The preschool teacher requested that I stay and for a quick dialogue once the other parents had left.
It turns out, that Tovar has been telling her, and all the other teachers, what his Mama says about what he should and should not be doing. Apparently I have all sorts of opinions that I hadn't known about ;)
We've gotten things straightened out (don't believe anything Tovar says regarding what I say), and she's going to go clarify with the other teachers.
I'm a little surprised though that the teacher may have believed him in the first place, don't all kids make stuff up to pit one authority figure against another?
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Wednesday, November 4th, 2009
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9:14 pm - Tricky Tovar
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Tovar to Mama: Have some of my candy!
Mama: Sure, thanks [accepts box of Nerds]
Tovar: You can have 1/3rd.
Mama: ok. [takes some, hands back the rest]
Cristina, Tovar's babysitter: That was sneaky of you Tovar.
Cristina to Mama: I told Tovar no more candy, so he figured out how he could get more by offering some to you, so that you'd open the box and give it back to him.
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Thursday, October 22nd, 2009
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7:54 pm - eye drops
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Tovar has pink eye, for the second time in his life. When we had to give him drops around 2, it was unpleasant to have to hold him still for them, but we managed.
At 4, its been downright traumatic. Tovar got hysterical just at the mention of eye drops. I had to sit on him and hold his arms down, and even then he flailed so much I stopped because I was worried I'd poke him in the eye. So I had to wait until Patri got home, and then sit over his body and hold his arms, while Patri steadied Tovar's head with his knees, pried open an eye with one hand, and put in the drops with the other.
I'm hoping that it gets easier again once he gets older and can better understand the notion that he has to go through something unpleasant in order to feel better in the long run.
Also, the second time, when Patri helped, was much better than the first time when I tried to do it by myself. The unsuccessful attempt to reason with him followed by the unsuccessful attempt to put the eye drops in by force took much longer than the quick pin down and success with two people.
[edit]
Time # 3 was soooo much better.
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Monday, October 19th, 2009
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8:41 pm - school teasing follow up [mom]
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I spoke with the teachers about how Tovar didn't want to go to school, and they said that the problem was actually that he wasn't spending enough time at school. We weren't getting him there in time for circle time before. According to the teacher, once the kids share experience in the circle time and small group activities, they spend more time together during free play. Because Tovar was getting there later he was a loner and picked on.
Since we've started getting Tovar up earlier to get to school in time for circle time, things have been going pretty well. He hasn't been fighting about being taken to school in the morning.
I also made a point of things like making a big deal out of his birthday both at home and at school (I brought sweets for the school celebration). I think that's helping him be included as well.
Additionally, we've cut back on childcare, and Grandpa David now picks Tovar up from school early one day/week, so between that extra grandparent and parent time and not dreading school, Tovar seems to be pretty happy with how his time is divided up for the time being.
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8:21 pm - bedtime ritual [mom]
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Some kids like to sleep with stuffed animals. Tovar likes to sleep with books. He keeps a stockpile, and every night after bedtime stories, he takes the new books and stuffs them into his bed, or into the tent that Aunt Bobbi gave him that he has been sleeping in since his birthday ;)
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Thursday, October 15th, 2009
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11:08 pm - Tovar's 4th Birthday
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Tovar had a wonderful day. He'd been asking every morning if it was his birthday for about a month and a half, so I thought I'd never be able to live up to his expectations. I was pleasantly surprised at how much he loved it, and how satiated he seems to have been by it.
An amusing highlight was the pinata. I left the pinata out with the candy and asked the guys to fill and hang it. So they hung it, and the kids had a great time hitting it. Eventually we determined that 4 year olds just weren't going to be able to break the thing, so Patri lowered it to the ground and encouraged them to step on it. They finally broke it, and it was empty!! Luckily the bag of candy was sitting right there, so Patri and I immediately jumped in and threw candy out into the crowd, and the kids were happy.
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Monday, October 12th, 2009
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2:07 pm - Silicon Valley Tovar
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Future entrepreneur Tovar Friedman, age 4, in his corner office overlooking University Ave, Palo Alto
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, October 6th, 2009
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8:10 pm - "I'm Cleaning Poop" - Lonely Island featuring T-Pain
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I'm cleaning poop,
I'm cleaning poop,
everybody hold your nose cuz I'm cleaning Tovar's poop.
...
Never thought I'd be cleaning poop...luckily it's not a watery goop...
And so on.
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009
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1:25 pm - Follow-up on school issues
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As suggested, we asked Tovar whether he liked school, whether kids were mean to him, etc. He said that some kids were mean to him, he didn't like it. Hard to know whether he's just responding to our questions or whether it is true, but it at least gives us something to work with.
The issues have definitely been chronologically associated with him moving classrooms, so that could be the cause. For example, it could well be a combination of: a) new teachers he isn't as friendly with who don't watch out for him as much, b) new kids he isn't friends with, c) having trouble keeping up with the more advanced social environment.
I've noticed a bunch of kids in the other class say hi to him as we come in, maybe he ended up in a different class than most of his friends?
Anyway, we talked it over w/ Tovar today about how to stand up for himself and respond to teasing, and I will talk to his teacher's tomorrow and hopefully we can make school happier for him. Wish we had thought of this sooner.
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(comment on this)
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Sunday, September 20th, 2009
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6:54 pm - Recent Tovar Quotes
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"I'm made in China"
" I didn't hit you, I was just bouncing a ball on your head!"
"After evolution made us, we turned into dinosaurs!"
"We need to eat lots so we can go higher and turn into statues."
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, September 17th, 2009
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3:32 pm - Not wanting to go to school
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At the beginning, Tovar had the usual day-care issues, screaming and crying at being away from his parents. But he got used to it fairly quickly, and things were OK for a year or two. More recently, he has gotten less and less OK w/ it, to the point where almost every day now, he says "I don't want to go to school. I went to school already. I want to stay home with you and Mama"
Shannon & I have pretty full schedules, so this is a real problem. When our schedules permit, we sometimes keep him home for a couple hours in the morning so he can have more family time. But it is still an issue with him.
Any ideas on why this is coming up now, or what we can do about it? He has a calendar up on his wall to check off days until his birthday, so I have tried to use it to show him weekdays and weekends. He has a genuine point that he doesn't get a lot of family time - he sees us all day on Sunday, half Sat, only mornings on Tu/Fr, and morning + evening Mo/We/Th.
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(14 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, September 16th, 2009
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11:56 pm - There's No Words On People
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11:14 pm - Knock Knock!
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8:54 pm - my little boy is getting so big! [mom]
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Tovar just leveled again. When we went to Whole Foods today, and he pushed the shopping cart, he had control. No worries about running into things and people. And then he organized the content. I'm very proud of him :)
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, September 9th, 2009
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11:33 pm - birthday's aren't that easily forgotten about [mom]
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It turns out I was wrong about Tovar coming to terms with his birthday being a ways off yet. I hope his big day is worth the month of mornings of disappointment when he learns each day anew that today is not his birthday.
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7:22 am - Aww, hair
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Shannon wants to cut Tovar's hair, but I like the curls. A week and a half ago, just before Burning Man, I got my head shaved. Yesterday we had the following conversation.
Tovar: I want my hair cut
Dad: But your curls are cute, let's keep them.
T: The curls get in my eyes.
D: Only in front, the side curls don't. We don't need to cut them.
T: I want to cut all my hair.
D: But why?
T: I want to have hair like you do!
Awwww....
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Tuesday, September 8th, 2009
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10:57 pm - Party Prep [mom]
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I sent out the invite for T's b-day party tonight. I'm feeling proud of myself, I'm much more on top of it this year. Beth helped me out a lot at T's last b-day, so now I know to do things like buy goody bags, put out a blanket for the kids to sit on while they eat cupcakes, etc.
We were talking with his nanny Cristina, and Tovar said he wants a pinata, and he wants it to be a Nemo pinata. My response was that it seemed like it would be hard to find a specifically Nemo pinata, but Cristina asked him if he wanted just the words or the fish, and he said the fish. Apparently they sell them at swap meets, who knew?
So we're going to have a birthday party, with a Nemo pinata, cupcakes of multiple colors, and a lot of community: both adult and preschool. I've requested that the parents bring outdoor toys and trikes, so the driveway should be buzzing with activity.
Now please please please may it not rain!! California, I'm counting on you!
Tovar is super excited. He talks about his birthday several times/day, in fact, perhaps several times/hour ;) Luckily he has finally accepted that "in a month" is different than "in an hour," and has come to terms with the fact that he's just going to have to wait.
If you are a friend of Tovar's and haven't gotten an invitation yet, please email me, I'm probably missing a few people.
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(comment on this)
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Friday, September 4th, 2009
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11:08 am - time with Mommy and Daddy [mom]
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We have a fair bit of childcare for Tovar. A few weeks ago he started saying that he wanted to spend more time with Mommy and Daddy, so I've been taking him to school later in order to spend more time with him in the mornings.
I was wondering if its a case where he'd press to get as much time as he could, or if he'd hit a point where he was satisfied with Mama time.
It turns out that the latter is true. If he gets to spend a certain amount of time with his mom and dad, he's happy to go do other things the rest of the time.
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, August 20th, 2009
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9:32 am - Tovar Community Party Pics [mom]
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Thursday, August 13th, 2009
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11:19 pm - Tovar's Room
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We just put up stickers! Tovar directed where the cars should go, and Mama took artistic license with the monkeys. Pictures by Dada:
Although the wall color came out much more mellow in those nighttime shots. Its actually much more bright like in this before shot:
More pictures
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