babybabble ([info]babybabble) wrote,
@ 2008-08-19 12:04:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current music:Interplanetary Travel - DJ Markitos

Morning Ferberization
Tovar's morning schedule is highly variable - he'll be up for the morning anywhere from 7am to 8:30am in the summer. And he has often been waking up 6am-7am asking for his binky lately. I want to start getting up at a regular time, not just waking up when Tovar does on the 3.5 days/week I have him. With his irregular schedule, that means I'd have to get up at 7am.

So we're considering doing a morning Ferberization: teaching him that Mom & Dad sleep until 8am, and if he wakes up before 8am, he is on his own. I have tried to explain to him that when he wakes up, instead of screaming until someone comes, he can climb out of bed and play, but so far it hasn't worked. This would be a more consistent, disciplined approach. (Thanks to [info]madduckdes for the idea). It would go something like this:

Get an analog clock (maybe a 24-hour one if we can find it, and cut off the minute hand). Color the area from midnight to 8am red. Then from 8am to noon green. Explain to Tovar that red is sleeping time, when Tovar and Mommy and Daddy are all sleeping. If he wakes up, and the hand is in the red area, then we are asleep and can't help him. He needs to find his own binky and/or entertain himself by getting out of bed and playing with his toys. Once the hand hits the green area, we will wake up and come get him, and he can yell if he wants us. Also do something to make his binky's easier to find, like attach a cup to his crib bars.

On the first few mornings, whoever has him keeps an ear out. When he screams before 8am, we go in and gently remind him to look at the clock, and that it is in the red area. Red means mommy & daddy are sleeping, and Tovar needs to take care of himself. After a few mornings, we put in earplugs and close our doors so we can't hear him, and whoever has him sets their alarm for 8am.

Has anyone else tried this? Or have comments on whether they think it will work? We don't want to pointlessly traumatize him, but given that he learned how to go to sleep on his own (despite fierce resistance), it seems like he can learn to be own his own a little in the mornings. And it would be a big benefit to us.




(Post a new comment)


[info]geofizzgirl
2008-08-19 08:25 pm UTC (link)
The analog clock plan seems a little complicated. I've had good luck with getting a strand of Christmas lights plugged into a timer: when the lights turn on, it's ok to come out of your room.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]zathrus
2008-08-19 08:56 pm UTC (link)
Ditto. I've also heard of parents using an alarm clock with the volume turned very very low -- low enough it's not likely to wake a kid up, but high enough a kid who's listening for it can hear it. We've had good success with sleeping with our door closed, and explaining that we would open it when it was "morning time" (although we had to modify that one a bit once we had a new baby sleeping in our room again -- didn't want the energetic 3-year-old coming in to bounce on the sleeping baby).

Definitely be clear on what activities are OK for him to access on his own, and which aren't. I would also recommend that if he's often thirsty and/or hungry early in the morning, you make appropriate drink/food available, but make sure it's safe (no choking hazards, won't go bad being left out overnight) and stuff you don't mind cleaning up off his floor or walls if he decides he's more into decorating than eating that morning. Yes, personal experience speaks here. :)

Newt

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]oliana0
2008-08-19 08:47 pm UTC (link)
I know some parents that has a similar plan, though she used the sun rising as an indicator at first. Which is okay for her, because she was okay getting up at first light. Then once the kid read clocks, they gave him a specific time.

The only thing that happen (at age 4), kind of scary, was that he went outside and played in the yard for an hour at first light without supervision. They couldn't child-proof the doors (old style hardware never locks from inside). They added the extra rule of no outside fun until it was time for the parents to get up.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]patrissimo
2008-08-20 02:38 am UTC (link)
His room is childproofed.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]beth_leonard
2008-08-20 04:31 am UTC (link)
We use the sun as an indicator for Peter. If it's light outside he can come in and snuggle with Mommy and Daddy or go play his Thomas the train game (the only thing he'll play by himself day or night), if it's still dark then it's still nighttime and he has to stay in his room or just use the potty and go back to bed. It's been more brutal during the summer, but Amber gets up at 6 regardless, so Peter's waking hour isn't as much of an issue for us. The earlier he wakes, the easier he goes down at night.

--Beth

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]dmorr
2008-08-19 10:54 pm UTC (link)
One trick is that you need for him to be able to contact you if something is really wrong, like he fell or something. So earplugs might not be a good idea in the long run.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]patrissimo
2008-08-20 02:39 am UTC (link)
Yeah, hopefully once he is used to it, we can stop wearing the earplugs.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]sassyparilla
2008-08-19 11:11 pm UTC (link)
have you thought about moving Tovar out of his crib into a toddler or twin bed? it sounds like you believe he's capable of climbing out of the crib, but for whatever reason, he's reluctant to do so when he wakes up in the morning. you can tell him that now that he's getting so big, he is going to sleep in big kid's bed, and he'll be able to get up all by himself in the morning. having a snack and a drink available for the morning is a great idea, too.
I also read in the comment thread of another post that Tovar's bedroom door is locked at night. I wonder if it's possible to allow him more access to the rest of the house (on those mornings he wakes up early) while still restricting him from whatever areas you feel would be hazardous. ideally, it'd be nice if he was able to get to Mom or Dad's room. knowing that he can get to you if he needs to might give him the confidence to give you a little more peace in the morning. at the very least, it's better to wake up to a little person crawling into bed for a snuggle than to have to jump out of bed and console a screaming, distressed child.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]patrissimo
2008-08-20 02:41 am UTC (link)
We removed the front wall of his crib, making it 3-sided and open, ages ago. But he refused to get out by himself - he just lies there and yells until we show up.

My room isn't childproofed, so I can't let him access it unsupervised. We could let him access Mom's room, but since we alternate mornings, I think it would be confusing for him. I wouldn't feel safe with him being able to access even the child-proofed areas outside his room, I'd feel a lot safer with him just being in his room.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


Create an Account
Forgot your login or password?
Login w/ OpenID
English • Español • Deutsch • Русский…