Baby Babble

Imaginary play

Mon, 13 Jul 2009 05:00:33 GMT

Tovar: "Its a flying truck, that delivers yogurt drinks!"

Tovar Wishes Mama and Dada Happy 4th Anniversary

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 17:40:53 GMT

Video by Tovar's babysitter Cristina:

bonding over the years [mom]

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:03:16 GMT

When going through the phase of bonding to one individual (who is usually mom), Tovar bonded to his dad. He'd throw fits and run away from me to the door every time Patri walked into and out of the room, which would happen fairly frequently throughout the day.

Especially since I was the primary care giver, I had a really hard time with this. And even after this phase was over, Tovar and I weren't very close for a long time. It dawned on me recently that this has changed. Tovar has reached a point where he adores his mommy, which makes parenting much more rewarding.

TV

Sat, 30 May 2009 17:58:17 GMT

Well, after 3.5 years, we have given in and Tovar is starting to watch some movies. He watched Sleeping Beauty last week, and this morning he is watching Cars (which he has wanted to see ever since getting Lightning McQueen shoes awhile back).

The research shows that TV is bad for kids, but a) I believe the worst effects are at < 2 years of age, b) It's dose-dependent, and it's not like we are letting him watch an hour a day or anything like that.

Genre-munging

Tue, 19 May 2009 01:40:28 GMT

Tovar has just declared himself to be a vampirate. Apparently he is not the first, there are 421,000 Google hits, and even a book Vampirates; Demons of the Ocean.

Yelling random things

Tue, 12 May 2009 05:37:14 GMT

Tovar has started yelling random phrases he hears places. He started talking about a "Nasty old lady" after his bath, and I thought he was insulting his mother, but it turned out he was talking about the lady who swallowed a fly.

While eating dinner, he yelled: "Can't go UNDER! Have to go OVER!". Google tells me this is a standard kids storytime/song/activity thing.

Then there was something about a bear, and are you afraid?

Anyway, it is all very entertaining.

Notes from school today

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 02:31:17 GMT

Tovar was very happy Daddy was back. He told everyone My Daddy is back. I missed him. He had fun today. We read lots of books. Tovar made a train with a large washing machine and a dryer and a big Television. Wow I want to be on that Train I said!!! At Circle time we talked about respecting our books and not ripping the pages. We the talked about going to the library and who has a card to check out books. April showed them I had one and everyone got a chance to hold it. We will make our own this afternoon

cute misnomers

Sat, 11 Apr 2009 00:58:33 GMT

Tovar: There's a Shoe Fly in the house!

Tovar apparently does not know that flies exist without shoes. He also thinks that Root Beer is pronounced "Root Beard," And that his Lexis toy car is A-Lexis: "Where's my A Lexis?"

doctor update [mom]

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 20:00:20 GMT

Tovar his healthy :) He's in the 25th percentile for weight, and the 3rd percentile for height. Not surprising for height, but he's still beating out Dada thus far: Patri was only in the 1st percentile through childhood.

I've been really worried about how Tovar sits, its on his knees with his feet bent out. So it was a relief to hear the doctor say that we don't need to worry about it. We should have him sit normally in a chair, but otherwise its fine.

Something I've been enjoying recently about Tovar is how he's learning more about the future. I can say "I'll give that to you tomorrow," and he's okay with delaying gratification.

visit to grandparents going well! [mom]

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 04:27:42 GMT

While Patri and I are in Panama preparing to have a surrogate carry our next child, Tovar is staying with his grandparents in Palm Springs. Tovar had only been to their place a couple of times, very briefly, prior to this, so I was nervous about this extended stay.

As it turns out, things are going great! Tovar apparently talks about Mama and Dada a lot, but he's totally fine with being apart from us, and he's having a great time with Grandma and Grandpa. My mom loves kids, and they've been playing play doh, cutting with toy scissors, taking rides on Grandpa's golf cart, and in general having a blast :)

favorite ritual

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 05:13:04 GMT

My favorite ritual with Tovar is "Good Morning".

Every morning when I am the first one up with him, when I first see him, no matter how tired or cranky I am, I say "Good Morning!" in a super happy, excited tone of voice, and he responds in kind. It's always a good start to the day. It took some time for him to get it as an ingrained habit with positive associations, but now it works wonderfully.

And it works on both of us - if I'm cranky, it helps me get into a better mood, and if he's cranky, it helps him get into a better mood.

The family narcissism

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 04:24:29 GMT

Tovar is into being big lately. We were driving, and I pointed out the moon, which was low in the sky.

Dad: Look at the moon, Tovar, it's really big.
Tovar: Yeah, like me!

Office speak

Sun, 25 Jan 2009 17:59:58 GMT

Tovar: Daaaad! Come change my diaper!
Dad: I'll be there soon.
Tovar: Come on! I need my diaper changed!
(Dad walks into Tovar's room, to see him lying down and ready, having taken off his pajamas)
Dad: Wow, good managing from below!

clever boy [mom]

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 01:18:15 GMT

Tovar: More water please!
Mama: No water, you spilled it when playing with it and don't get any more.
Mama: (a minute later) Tovar, where did you get that water from?
Dada: I gave him some water when he asked me for some.

Yes, he has officially learned the pit one parent against the other strategy. And he's smart enough to catch us when first parent is not listening to second parent. I'm very proud of him ;)

The First Rule of Parenting

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 01:54:07 GMT

Most of the things we do right flow from one single principle: Treat Tovar like a real person, with real likes and dislikes and the real ability to understand and learn and make good decisions.

Two examples:

1) Tovar likes dropping dishes in the sink. This is OK for some dishes, but not for others, which might break. One option might be to just tell him it isn't ok, or to have him ask us on a dish-by-dish basis. Instead, I used it as an opportunity to teach Tovar about materials. I explained that plastic & metal can be dropped, glass cannot, and taught him to distinguish. A useful skill.

2) We warn Tovar against knives, of course, as they are dangerous. However, the most common type of knife he encounters is the butter knife or dinner knife, which are hardly sharper than a spoon. To keep them away from him would mean lots of pointless stress. To not do so would be to risk him thinking that all knives are harmless. So we taught him that some knives are sharp and dangerous, and others are not. On the rare occasions when he is at the table near a sharp knife, we call it to his attention and warn him that this knife is sharp. Sometimes he asks about knives, whether they are sharp.

These things are important, because there seems to be an innate parental tendency to nag, worry, and direct one's children. I find myself fighting it all the time. Yet this is, in the long-term, harmful to kids. It teaches them that the world is a scary and dangerous place and doesn't let them relax and play. This has bad effects on the developing brain, yet (sadly) it is my instinct. Anything we can do to reduce nagging and worrying is a good thing.

This is also a downside to vacation - Tovar loves new places, but when they aren't childproofed, we end up watching and worrying a lot.

ice for hurt feelings [mom]

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 22:00:38 GMT

Tovar: (comes out of his room 10 minutes after he was put down for his nap, which has been a pattern recently)
Mom: Go to bed, now.
Tovar: *prolonged crying*
Mom: (comes back) Why are you still crying?
Tovar: I have an owie, I need ice!

Eventually I buckled and just gave him an ice pack, which settled the dispute, even though the wound was entirely emotionally based.

memory [mom]

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 00:25:48 GMT

I'm really impressed with Tovar's memory for people. As one recent example, there is a little girl down the street who we visited a couple of times several months ago. Yesterday we were out visiting neighbors and he told me that he wanted to go visit her. I guess that might be normal for a three year old, I just haven't updated my model of him to think that he can remember so well!

A great stage [mom]

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 22:09:23 GMT

I'm loving this stage in Tovar's development. He's gotten to a point where I can reason with him! He's also been fabulous lately about listening and responding conscientiously.

As an example, I was tired this morning, and told him that I was very tired and asked for him to let me rest, and he said "okay" and went and played in his room.

Literal

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 00:59:46 GMT

Tovar: Don't Laugh, Dada!
Dad: But I was laughing at-slash-with Mama!
Tovar: Don't laugh at-slash-with Mama!

Our little transhumanist

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 06:09:08 GMT

Dad: And we take your arm out of your shirt...and your second arm out of your shirt...and your third arm out of your shirt (taking out Tovar's head).
Tovar: No! I only...I have...I have two hands!
Dad: But if you did have more hands, that would be cool, right?
Tovar: Huh?
Dad: Well, then you could hold more balloons at the same time!
Tovar: Yeah! (Kicking his arms, waving his legs, and yelling) Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Milestones

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 20:45:15 GMT

Tovar just made another big developmental jump. Its hard to describe other that he seems much more like a little boy than a baby. He communicates very clearly although with a heavy little guy accent, knows what he wants, likes to say no and be very independent, has a great sense of humor, and is generally fun. When he first started this phase he was very disagreeable and had big temper tantrums and whatnot, so I'm relieved that he has returned to his sweet self. With him being my first child and not having spent much time around kids its hard for me to tell which changes will be lasting and which won't.

Tovar is having a great time at the childs gymnastics place I've been taking him. Today he was doing the exercises independently and following instructions a lot of the time. His favorite activity is playing in the foam pit. He also loves just running. He runs and falls over a lot but doesn't mind the falling part. He just gets up and laughs and gets right back up and keeps going.

He's still a big time extrovert and seems pretty secure with himself. He's more shy around new people than he was when he was younger but he still warms up to people very quickly. He loves his family, and also now has a full blown imaginary family. In addition to the brothers and sisters, uncles and cousins, he now has "other mommy" and "other daddy." He likes to call his imaginary brother and sister on the phone and asks me to call them as well.

He is also full blown into the "Why?" phase. Occasionally I'll say it back to him:

Tovar: Why is that car brown?
Mama: You tell me Tovar, why is the car brown?
Tovar: No mama, you don't say why, I say why!

I guess we shouldn't be surprised

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 07:46:27 GMT

Shannon got an old mac laptop, and set it up for Tovar this evening.

It's 11:45PM (1:45 after his bedtime), and he's awake, screaming "I want my computer!"

Where does he get this?

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 00:00:02 GMT

In the car this morning on the way to the dentist...

T: Do you like my eyes, Dada?
P: Uh...yes, I do. Why do you ask?
T: *shy smile*
P: Do you like my eyes, Tovar?
T: Noooo!
P: Ouch! Well, whose eyes do you like?
T: Mama's!

He frequently complements his nannies on their clothing, hair and eyes. Where does he get it? I didn't start flirting until I was 12 or 14 - he's 3! Shannon & I don't say things like that much...not sure where he is getting it. Very entertaining, if a bit precocious.

Tovar Birthday Pictures [mom]

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 00:20:06 GMT

These have been a long time in coming! Thank you to everyone who attended Tovar's birthday, he enjoyed your celebrations and still talks about his birthday all the time. And also, thank you to everyone who brought gifts. Tovar now has a lot of age appropriate toys that he enjoys. Here are the pictures! I'll post a few, but I encourage those who were there to check out the whole album. Sadly I didn't get everyone, but I did get some nice shots of a few people, especially the Leonards and my parents.

From Tovar Birthday 2008

Picture by is2disney

From Tovar Birthday 2008

Awwww [mom]

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 23:28:37 GMT

Picture by radiantsun:

From Tovar Misc